24x36 | Oil on Panel

Week 20

We began our most daring quickie yet - to complete it within a nap time. Those of you with children know the sacredness of nap time. You also know that time could mean 45 minutes or 2.5 hours - and the haunting feeling that accompanies starting any project then. 

With that in the back of my mind, I set up the time lapse video. Nervous. Nervous to been seen and to be judged- mostly- by myself. Being married to a professional artist, a teacher, son of a famed artist and male- there are a lot of things to get into my head about. 

In my mind I was seeing our timelapse and see myself today working on getting brushes, squeezing new paint, looking back and forth at the image to get my colors, but not a lot of painting. Watchingit after, I see that I was not as incapacitated by my mind as I thought. Laert said its very easy when painting to see nothing of what you are doing - getting discouraged while you may be doing much more. You cannot see until you stand back. 

Push in, keep going. The things that keep you trapped are mostly within and you hold the keys. One day you'll get out, then you'll have to work get free again the next day. You cannot see til you step back. And there, each stroke, each day you get out, is beautiful, worthwhile.