Week 117

Have you ever felt this way? 

This morning I was speaking with someone about a unique project a family member was creating. Their sense of awe and respect was almost overwhelming. Although I also was extremely proud and inspired, the familiarity of the relationship and the commonness of our personal conversations now put in book, workbook and calendar, made me pause to examine my emotions. I felt the envy of watching someone so close be so productive, living and creating something beautiful and deeply meaningful and briefly forgot the beauty of what I held in my hands. 

It was just a moment. It passed with a shake of the head. I then reinforced my thought that it is monumentally important to acknowledge the jealousy and then as you let it go, let it inspire you to do more of what you were made to do. We must also use that momentary twinge to compel us to lift up those that are doing, risking and creating. It is hard. It requires something valuable of us. It challenges our status quo and exposes our perceived faults. It brings us to the vulnerable state of risking. 

Gardenias are a favorite of mine. The fragrance is wholly intoxicating and the thick, buttery cream petals reflect a myriad of colors surrounding. Looking at them makes me consider: what flower in delicate bloom wasn’t safer as a hard enclosed seed? Only in defying safety and idleness can it’s-one-of-a-kind fullness be reached. This floret, exhilaratingly full, has come to the place of risk. The place where there is no more room for envy or doubt. It cannot hold back or succumb to indolence, so it thrusts itself into the light, proud, unique and free. 

(We wanted to use some similar techniques and palette as we did for Castasrophe de Coloures. Once about 70% completed Laert begun to add variations of color to make this piece its’ own. The russet in the leaves gave it heat. We built layers of luscious color right upon another. )

Flutura me gjethe

10x20 | Oil on Canvas